I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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