How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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