Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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