i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
