Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
