I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
