You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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