I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize