ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
