we have officially lost it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
