Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
birth control should be required to get into college
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
