FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
