Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
