You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
