hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
