shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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