First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
