she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize