I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You are a genius and a whore.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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