some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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