Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
