I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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