How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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