i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
