I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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