i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize