hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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