Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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