Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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