Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
