Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
