Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
