While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
