Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
honey bunches of taint.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
