Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
