your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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