the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
