We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
