I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How external is "for external use only"?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Randomize
