it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
