Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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