Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
