hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
