wanna go halves on a baby?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize