Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
