the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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