Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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