I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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