Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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