We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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