ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
