I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
