why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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