is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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