So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
