Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
