Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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