he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
