i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
