Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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