She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
