You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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