Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
