Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
