Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
