So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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