she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
