she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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