you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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