weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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