so that wasnt chicken after all
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We're not piercing ourselves today.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
