I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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