my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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