If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
