is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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