But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize