Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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