I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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