apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
