We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
