Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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